i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
