omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
