you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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