the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
