Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
