We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
