we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize