I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
