the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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