Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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