Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
pray to the hookup gods
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
