Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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