im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
so let's talk penis.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I don't deserve a penis
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Randomize
