Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
