BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
