You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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