A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
