I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i dont even know how to be here
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
