How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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