elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
