I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
