I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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