Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
