dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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