We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
