We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize