we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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