so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
