Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
