I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
