that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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