I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
