I heard we made out
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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