I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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