I hate your face
Where did you get a picture of my penis
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Drake has all the answers
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
