i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
