You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
