my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
In America we eat man semen.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Randomize
