either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
