the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
