This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
