I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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