Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
