I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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