I need help removing her.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
