Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
