I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
