He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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