Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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