His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize