lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
