omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
