im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Are we still banned from the library?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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