Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
