that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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