i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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