my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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