turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
