He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize