somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
