She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
