I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
