he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize