It was confusing and full of hummus
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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