from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
