but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
