dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
