I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
