i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize