a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
