we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Someone signed my nipple.
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