He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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