He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
