so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i love accidental penises.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
