the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He kissed a someone with a penis
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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