I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
