Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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