He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
